If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
how do flat chested girls get laid?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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