She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize