pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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