Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
you inspire me to be a worse person
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
