I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
