He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
