You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
