I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
3pm strippers are depressing
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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