When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
