the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
