ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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