You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
