We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She even gives head with a lisp.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
