Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
did you just send me my own nude
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
