Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
