i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
