oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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