Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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