so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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