Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
