Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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