When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize