how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
