you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
