it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
