shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize