nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
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