I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I would fuck him just for his dog
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
