Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
