...so i touched it.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
