I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
