Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
