The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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