I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
