i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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