Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
