Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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