You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize