Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
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