Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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