wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize