so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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