It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
the liver wants what the liver wants
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
