C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
my liver is dry heaving
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
