You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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