Im at strip club and am horny
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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