I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
