U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He has the fingertips of a God
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