i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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