Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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