No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
