my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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