make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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