Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
last night I used snow as a chaser
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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