there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It was confusing and full of hummus
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
