genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize