I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
