I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i've created a new STD.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
