I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I forget how to act sober
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