Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
