"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
