Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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