"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
