You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
