woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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