so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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