So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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